YOU CAN TELL SOMEONE WHAT’S BEHIND THE CURTAIN OR YOU CAN SHOW THEM
Yesterday I had a low moment.
A pothole of sorts.
I have been working on something new and I wasn’t getting the results that I wanted to see, as quickly as I wanted to see them. As a result I started doubting myself. I started questioning whether I would FAIL. I started questioning whether it was worth all the effort I was putting in, or if I was better off giving up.
In order to get support, I shared this low moment with a tribe of wonderfully inspiring people, asking for help.
And I did get help, though not all of the help was exactly how I wanted to receive it.
One woman in particular gave it to me STRAIGHT, which I appreciated and didn’t like at the same time. I don’t even remember her exact words, but I do remember how I felt--LIKE SHE HAD PUNCHED ME IN THE STOMACH.
I don’t deny that I needed what she served me, but she served it with such violence and such hostility. I didn’t feel any love or compassion in her words.
As I was reflecting on the situation this morning, I was able to pinpoint exact why it felt so shitty. Instead of helping me to SEE who I was being in that moment, she TOLD me who I was being.
There is a difference between SHOWING and TELLING.
I can tell someone that they are being a JERK, or I can show them.
I can tell someone that they are being an EGOTISTICAL MANIAC, or I can show them.
I can tell someone that they are being MANIPULATIVE, or I can show them.
And it all comes down to the words I use and how I communicate them.
If someone is your life is driving you nuts with who they are BEING, telling them is only going to bring resistance, while SHOWING them opens the door to change.