Why We Don't Ask for Help

Over the years I have noticed a pattern with regard to the women in my family.

We don’t ask for help.

Even when we are struggling, gasping for breath and about to drown, we still won’t ask.

We are strong, we are independent, we are capable, and we don’t ask for help.

Unfortunately, by being strong, independent and capable, we have made a lot of tough times even tougher.

We have made asking for help mean something.  

We have equated asking for help with weakness.  

We have created a belief that only weak people ask for help. And we are not weak.

The women in my family are not the only ones.  

In my work as a coach, I help my clients uncover the hidden beliefs and meaning that they create out of their circumstances.  

If this happened, then it must mean this about me.  
If that happened, then it must mean this about me.  

We would make meaning out of nothing if we could.  Actually we do that too.

But, we can shift that meaning and that belief to anything we want it to be. We have the choice.

In my family, the women have created a belief or story that asking for help means we are weak, but it doesn’t have to mean that at all.

Asking for help can mean that we trust our friends enormously.

Asking for help can mean that we respect those around us to take on some of our burden.

Asking for help can mean we love those around us so much that we are comfortable showing our vulnerabilities to them.

Asking for help can mean that we are strong enough to ask for help.

Asking for help doesn’t mean we are weak.

Asking for help means we could use some help. Period.

Sometimes being bold means asking for help.

It's Your Life. Live It Boldly.