Why the "experts" might be wrong

On two separate occasions, working with two completely different clients, I heard these phrases almost verbatim: “I hate them,” “I feel awkward,” and “I have to.”

If you hate something and it makes you feel awkward, why would you “have to” do it?  

Who says?

When we are trying to learn a new skill or trying to learn how to do something better, we often turn towards “the experts” to guide us.  Whether we are trying to lose weight, or trying to start a new business, or trying to learn how to be a parent, we turn to those who have done it before us, and look to them for the answers.

Then we take those answers and try to apply them to our lives, and our situations.  We try to copy them and do exactly as they did, and hope for success.

Sometimes it works.  Sometimes it doesn’t.

Yes, their way worked for them, and it probably worked for others, but that doesn’t mean it’s the only way, and that doesn’t mean that it will work for you.

• The experts say that you should workout first thing in the morning before you eat.  The problem is that you are a nurse and work the night shift. 

• The experts say that you should attend 2-3 networking events per month when you are launching a new business.  The problem is that you detest networking events, and feel completely uncomfortable introducing yourself in that context.

• The experts say that you should go Paleo in order to lose weight fast. The problem is that you have been a vegetarian for 20 years. 
  

• The experts say that you should never sleep with your newborn in bed with you. That problem is that your child has colic and cries non-stop. The only way to get sleep yourself is to sleep with your baby.
  

Notice what key word is in each of those statements?

Should.  

The word should, or the words should not are judgments and expectations. In each of the scenarios above, that expert is putting their judgments and expectations on you without even knowing you or your situation.  

I am not saying that the experts are worthless, but I am saying that you need to apply their advice to your personality and your situation.  

Listen to their advice, try it out, and if it doesn’t fit, take it off, or adapt it to fit your needs.

There is no point in beating yourself up because you can’t do it their way.  Find your own way.

It's Your Life. Live It Boldly.