Why New Year's Resolutions Suck

I used to be a New Year’s Resolution kind of girl.  

Each year, I would spend the last few weeks of December finalizing what I was going to change starting January 1st.

And each year, a few weeks into the new year, I would feel like I failure.

I wasn’t going to the gym as consistently as I hoped. I wasn’t eating how I said I was going to eat. I wasn’t doing the things I had resolved to do.  

Guess I will try again next year….

This year, no more resolutions.

​Instead, I am making commitments, or better, I am recommitting to things that are important to me. And I won’t just do it now. I will do it throughout the year--sometimes even daily.  

Here’s the difference:

• A resolution is essentially a goal with timelines, quantities, and qualifications. A resolution is about doing. Unfulfilled resolutions end up with feelings of guilt, shame, failure, and more.
• A commitment has no end--no timeline. It is never fulfilled. It’s about being, not doing. Unfulfilled commitments lead back to the original commitment and you have to ask yourself--am I still committed?

Now, I am not saying that when you make a commitment, you don’t also have to take action to back up the commitment. You definitely do, but when your goals and resolutions are couched under a bigger commitment, it doesn’t feel so icky when things go sideways. You just recommit.   

If you are truly passionate about your commitments, you will find ways to fulfill them.

This year, I am recommitting to the following:

• Being healthy
• Being a great family member and friend
• Being a bold leader and entrepreneur
• Being open to receiving

And this is what it is going to look like:

• Being healthy means:
  • Exercising on a regular basis
  • Eating what I know is good for my body, with occasional sweets and fun foods thrown in
  • Taking time to rest, play, and find peace
• Being a great family member and friend
  • Actively listening, asking questions, and challenging my spouse
  • Fully engaging when I am playing with my daughter
  • Staying connected with family and friends here and the US, not just via email or Facebook, but on the phone as well
  • Supporting those I care about when in need
• Being a bold leader and entrepreneur
  • Specifically asking for the support of others (eating humble pie)
  • Taking risks and getting out of my comfort zone on a regular basis
  • Marketing and promoting my business without thinking of it as a negative
  • Continually trying out new strategies and products, while also staying focused and aligned with my brand
  • Connecting with and asking “experts” for advice (I put experts in quotes, because sometimes their expertise won’t work.)
  • Actively creating and sustaining partnerships and networks
• Being open to receiving
  • Saying things like “That would be great!” or “Yes, please.” when people offer to do something for me, give me something, help me out, etc.

Notice that these commitments don’t have an actual timeline or specific quantity attached to them. I am throwing that whole SMART goal thing out the window this year. That is not to say that I don’t have bigger, quantifiable targets to shoot for (especially in my business), but my success isn’t tied directly to them.  My success and sense of self-worth is tied to who I am being, not whether or not I reach some arbitrary number.

Each evening, I will look toward the following day and schedule actions that I will take that show my commitment to my health, my family, and my business.

And the end of each day, I will look back on the day and ask myself, “Did I show my commitment to my health, family, and business? Was I open to others help and support? How? If not, how can I recommit tomorrow?”

And that’s it.

When things don’t go as planned, or life throws me a curveball, I will simply recommit.  

I won’t always make healthy choices. I won’t always be an amazing spouse or mom or friend. I won’t always be a bold entrepreneur. I won’t always graciously accept support. And that’s okay. No need to beat myself up. No need to feel guilty. No need to feel like failure.  

At the end of each day I will know how I stand with my commitments. And that’s all I really need.

What are you committing to this year?  Who do you want to be?

It's Your Life. Live It Boldly.