Theresa Destrebecq
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Practicing Gratitude

11/21/2013

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For me, and for many of us, our first waking thought of the day is, “I didn’t get enough sleep.”  The next one is, “I don’t have enough time.”  Whether true or not, that thought of not enough occurs to us practically before we even think to question or examine it.  We spend most of the hours and days of our lives hearing, explaining, complaining, or worrying about what we don’t have enough of….we don’t have enough exercise.  We don’t have enough work.  We don’t have enough profits.  We don’t have enough power.  We don’t have enough wilderness.  We don’t have enough weekends.  Of course we don’t have enough money—ever. 

We’re not thin enough, we’re not smart enough, we’re not pretty enough or fit enough or educated or successful enough, or rich enough—ever.  Before we even sit up in bed, before our feet touch the floor, we’re already inadequate, already behind, already losing, already lacking something.  And by the time we go to bed at night, our minds race with a litany of what we didn’t get, or didn’t get done, that day.  We go to sleep burdened by those thoughts and wake up to the reverie of the lack….What begins as a simple expression of the hurried life, or even the challenged life, grows into the great justification for an unfulfilled life.  …..

We each have a choice, in any setting to step back and let go of the mind-set of scarcity.  Once we let go of scarcity, we discover the surprising truth of sufficiency.  By sufficiency, I don’t mean a quantity of anything.  Sufficiency isn’t two steps up from poverty or one step short of abundance.  It isn’t a measure of barely enough or more than enough.  Sufficiency isn’t an amount at all.  It is an experience, a context we generate, a declaration, a knowing that there is enough and that we are enough.

Sufficiency resides inside each of us, and we can call if forward.  It is a consciousness, an attention, an intentional choosing of the way we think about our circumstances. 

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It seems like everyone is talking about gratitude these days, so I am going to jump on the same bandwagon as everyone else.  Tis the season, no?

Too often in our lives we spend the majority of our time thinking about what we don’t have, or want to have, or need to have, and not enough time thinking about what we do have.  That is where practicing gratitude can be so powerful.   When we stop and appreciate the big and little things around us that we do have, it brings us a greater sense of joy and happiness.  For that moment in time, we appreciate the beauty of reality—what is here and now. 

I recently came upon this passage from Lynne Twist, who wrote The Soul of Money, and it filled my heart with sadness, but also a sense of relief because she offers a new lens to look through. 

This holiday season, I call upon you to do what Lynne suggestions.  Look toward your life as being sufficient, rather than scarce.  Practice gratitude, and be thankful for all that you do have, not all that you don’t.  Be grateful for the small wonders and ordinary moments, as well as the grand and extraordinary.  And if it is people you are grateful for, let them know.  Share your gratitude with them, and allow your connection to continue to grow. 

Thank you for your continued support.

In gratitude,
Theresa
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Bread and Wine, by Shauna Niequist

6/26/2013

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You know those books that you pick up and then just can’t put down.  Bread and Wine by Shauna Niequist was one of those books.  The book is a collection of stories about life around the table.  It is about food, but it more about life, with all its ups, downs, ins, and outs.  Shauna shares herself in a way that really allows you to see inside of her, while also seeing inside of yourself.  I connected with her on a very deep level, despite the fact that I have never met her. 

This post is going to be a little different than most, because instead of sharing my words, I am going to share hers.   Here is some of what she had to say: 



“The extra pounds didn’t matter, as I look back, but the shame that came with those extra pounds was like an infectious disease.  That’s what I remember.  And so these days, my mind and my heart are focused less on the pounds and more on what it means to live without shame, to exchange that heavy and corrosive self-loathing for courage and freedom and gratitude.  Some days I do just that, and some days I don’t, and that seems to be just exactly how life is.”  (pg 37)

“I believe every person should be able to make the simple foods that nourish them, that feel familiar and comforting, that tell the story of who they are.  Each one of us should be able to nourish ourselves in the most basic way and to create meals and traditions around the table that tell the story of who we are to the people we care about.  And the only way to get there is start where you are.” (pg 40)

“I want to cultivate a deep sense of gratitude, of groundedness, of enough, even while I’m longing for something more.”  (pg 59)   

“Cooking is no different.  There are rock stars—people whose skill or perspective propels them to the top of their fields.  But when you ask them how they got there, they always tell you a story about working in a diner or making pasta with a grandmother.  They tell you about repetition, knife, heat, salt, butter.”  (pg 66)

“I tend to believe the worst about myself—I could never do this, I’m not that kind of person, I’ll always be like this, or I’ll never be able to get over that.  But then I think about that day….and I remember that people can change.  That I can change.  That the same old refrain can get rewritten, and that all it takes sometimes is paying attention to your tears, and ignoring that voice that tries to hypnotize us with “next year, next year, next year.”  (pg 80)

“I’ve long wanted to be better at accepting help, better at admitting weakness, better at trusting that people love me not for what I can do but just because they do.  It would have been lovely to learn those things on my own terms, when I wanted to, the way I wanted to.  But we never grow until the pain level gets high enough.”  (pg 120)
I urge you to buy the book or check it out from the library.  In addition to the stories, there are fabulous recipes throughout.  I laughed and cried off and on during the entire reading, and started again when I picked it up to write this post.  It is a must read, especially for women.  It is truth-telling and vulnerability like you haven’t experienced it before.   
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